Breaking free

To be free...

Its a feeling that you cannot explain. You breath in the air differently, your spirit soars, like you never knew it could. You don't just see life anymore, you feel it... And you never knew you were lacking it, until you found it. I did, I found it in Yahuah the Father in Heaven... Not in a church or from a preachers mouth. I found it in The Fathers Presence. He's there, in the mountains. His voice is in the wind and thunder, the lighting is His music. The stars are His diamonds and we are His children. I am free... and whats even more wonderful, is that I know there is so much more. More to breath in, more to feel, more to listening than not, more to love, I just have to believe in Him Yahuah. He knows I wanna dance in the snow, not just the rain. I wanna take life on with a passion, with Yahuah as my foundation. 

To be free... To be free... It's the beginning to a wonderful life and a peaceful spirit and so much more.....

                                                                

                                             May the Father in Heaven Bless you all!

                                                                          Taz

                                                              

Wild at Heart...

Hello again!


I love life... I love everything there is to living it. The moments that we have...and share. Where we are over come with the euphoria of love... Or those deep intense moments where we realize, we just escaped death... Where we have walked through Hell, surrounded, gasping for breath. Almost dropping the map that you've been givin' at the beginning of the trail of life. Then in the moment of your blindness and desperation, because your lost... You hear a voice, you feel it in your soul... and know without a doubt, that if you take the hand of the One that knows all the secrets of life... Hell will be far behind you and Elohim would have already slain your dragon, in the moment that you gave it all to Him.




People will always take it upon themselves to get into your life and control and try to form you to whatever they believe or want you to be... Thats when you stand up... and tell them to get the bloody hell off your back. 


There is a lot to life and that doesn't include changing yourself for what the world believes you should be... It wasn't meant to be that way. Each one of us is different in our one way... and thats a good thing!




Life isn't easy... I'll tell ya that right now. But I'd be a fool to go and try livin' it without the Father in Heavens help... The truth is... I want His blessing more than anything. He doesn't look at the exterior like people do, He looks at our heart. I've got my shit load of problems and people think that sometimes I'm gruff and that I'm not very caring... I don't carry my emotions on my sleeve like a lot of people do, so they can't read me, I guess... and I sure as Hell don't offer my loyalty like a bag of candy, when I know they'll just use it for there own benefit... With no intention of giving any of their own loyalty in return.


I have more loyalty then most people have in a lifetime...  Mostly, just because they don't know the true meaning of what that word is. As to caring, the ones that I do care for... Know that I do without a doubt. 




Enough about how some people can be tho... There are much better aspects to talk about in this wonderful, yet crazy thing called life... 

Good times are wonderful memories... Such as simple moments caught in a glimpse of chaos, or those times where you jump up and down... scream and shout and people think your insane! I especially love those ones. 

Life has been busy as ever here and I love it... I'm starting to see my plans coming together. It takes a lot of patience, so I guess thats a good thing... I'm in training of patience... If you knew me you would realize that I have very little in some areas. An immense amount of life has happened in the past year, than in the last five. I've learned a lot in many different areas and most of them were life changing. I'm still learning and hoping to obtain so much more and still remain with a humble spirit... 

I'm very spontaneous and spirited... I love life, I want to breath it all in, with a passion. I have some pretty crazy dreams and if I ever reach all that I'm aspiring to... I'll owe it all to my Elohim and Family! 

Right now I'm sitting at home talking to you all...with the radio on playing Brad Paisley in the background. I am surrounded in a peaceful whirlwind and can't imagine being anywhere else at this moment... When your at home you can put everything on pause... take a deep breath and take on the world tomorrow. 

  Thats what home is, a haven in this world... full of peaceful laughter and joy. 

Like yesterday evening, my brothers and I were cleaning and oiling our hunting rifles, just talking away.
Getting oil on our hands and in comes my Mom thinking that were're just happy as can be... She knows us so well. She's not a gun person, probably doesn't understand me all the time either. Then some moments, she says that I'm just like my Dad... and I just smile! Must be something good I always say... She loves him!

I believe you have to grab life by the horns and wrestle it to the ground. You can't just sit there and wait for it to come to you... You have to know what you want... and let Yah in your plans. Sometimes, I'm charging straight forward and forget whats around me... then I have to stop and realize what I do have. Simple things, simple times... like sitting out in my Monte Carlo AKA "Taz" under the stars with my best friends listening to our favorite music... opening up the sky window and watching and waiting to see shooting stars pass overhead. The kind of memories that will always stick with you... and you wonder where you'll be in five or ten years... and you promise yourself and each other that you'll always stick together and no matter what, you'll always go to Hell and back for one another.                                                          Won't fall apart... just add new faces.......

"There's no reason to ever fall apart... but every reason to stick together." 

I have a spirited paint filly named Bodaciouse. She has this crazy color pattern that matches her character. She loves chasing and cutting our cattle whenever she gets the chance. She drives my Dad crazy, but I tell him she'll make a wonderful cutting horse. When I first bought her she was malnourished and my Dad thought I was insane to get her. I just smiled and said she had potential. It looks like she does... cutting his cattle.... hhmmmmm:)

I plan to get some training in her, compete for a while, she see how she does. In the long run I'd like to breed her to an Overo Paint. I think it would bring out a beautiful foal. I'll probably AI her myself... I'm not sure what Stallion I'll use tho for the Sire of the foal... Still working on that one.

My first goal at the moment is to get my farrier license... I don't plan on being a farrier if thats what you think... I just believe it would be very beneficial for my future and career. I would much rather do my own horses hooves and get the job done right, than have someone else do a screwed up job and mess up their feet. I've seen it happen more than once to people... No way... Not my horses.

I have so many plan and dreams, but like I said... first things first. You have to crawl before you can walk... and walk before you can run... Hard, hard.... I'm already running in my mind. *Sigh* I'll make it tho... I'll also appreciate everything a whole lot more when I'm livin it!

A little bit more about me...  I love music and I love to dance. I also feel naked when I'm not wearing my boots and mascara. I write music and plan on performing on stage someday, but not before I get my horse career on the way. I love to sing, but I really love horses...  People have told me that I have a vintage Patsy Cline voice mixed in with Reba.... Which is fine by me... I like to be labeled unique, instead of being mistaken for someone else and not having my own identity. I believe if most people where just themselves instead of always trying to be someone else, that they wouldn't ever be lost or confused in who they were. That they would know that the Father above Yahuah made them to be that way. "Not one diamond is ever the same, each one is special in there own way." Same as people...


Now I know life can be harsh... damn it I know! But let me tell you what I found out... I have learned that the Father is always with us, from the moment we are born, to time that we give up our last breath. He, Yah! Is with us... He's not the enemy. He's our Deliverance.  I 100% trust Him with my life... He takes better care of me, than I ever could. He tells us in His word, to fear no one, but Him and He will safeguard our lives. People carry around bodyguards everywhere they go and they still end up dead. But if the Creator of the universe, tells us He, Yah! will safeguard, as in protect our lives. Who? Again I say who? Can go through Him Yahuah? No one! He made the enemy, He knows the Devil more than the Devil knows himself.  


I believe "we" can trust YAHUAH... Give Him our everything... Be Free! Live! Love! Don't worry or be afraid... Just trust Him, give it all To Elohim! 




I know its hard just to give it all up, but from experience I can tell you its like waking up from a zombie like life. He doesn't give up on you, if you just believe... Yahuah will stick with you through it all. Hey! I'm still learning and coming alive more... and .... more every moment of every day. I was in a dry, dry land and He sent the rain!




To all my fellow cowgirls out there... I hope you find your dreams and live them.... Thats what I'm reachin for!


Taz

*Untamable Cowgirl*

This is a story about a  woman, who use to be a young girl... who has always been a cowgirl at heart.

This is my story...


Let me start with a wild and crazy, yet very sincere hello to all the women out there who love to be under the clear sunny blue sky, or ride underneath the stars at 2:00 in the morning... That say it's ok to get a little dirt and grease on your hands with your favorite pair of holey jeans on... To my fellow cowgirls!




I'm from the west, as you imagine... I've traveled all my life, looking for that oasis that you can call Home...  Not the kind where you say I'll be here for the next 3 or 6 years, but the kind where you say... Hmmmm.... Well I wouldn't mind staying a bit longer, not quite, yet ready to leave... It feels like The Father in Heaven put us in an oasis... A little Heaven on earth. This is Home... What makes a Home sweet tho? May I ask? Family! I believe the Father knew what He was doing when He created that special thing... Complex... Crazy... Intense... But so alive... Sweet... Amazing... Wonderful... Something that you can't buy in a store, but something that has to be earned... That the Father looks down and says, He wants to give us a precious gift... Family! I praise my Elohim for that everyday... I am humbled by such a treasure.

I am young, but I have seen how the sea of life can be calm at one moment, then in the blink of an eye. It can turn into a reckless, vicious storm. Hell bent on knocking you down to your knees... Not realizing, that's where you find truth, and your strength. Right there down on your bruised knees, where you finally find yourself. So much power is there, an overwhelming, overpowering peace. Right there with the Father in Heaven.......


Its funny, how this world thinks that if your found on your knees, that your at your lowest point, completely lost... with no way of getting out of that dark pit, that hell hole that you've somehow found yourself in. They couldn't be farther from the truth, that's where you TRULY find yourself... Right there, with your battered heart and your hurtin knees... Pleading, crying and begging... laying it all at Elohim's feet. Saying please pick me up and carry me for a second, just for a little while. I just need a little bit, a small speckle of your strength... Help me get back on my feet again... To be unshakable in You Elohim. My Strength, my Deliverer, my Elohim.




I have come to realize that in this world, you have to stay true to Elohim, your
Family and yourself... or you'll just get lost, no matter what you do. You have to know what matters most to you, who you are, what you'll fight for, what you'll go to Hell and back for... Then when you find it, you hang on to it... You out-ride those damn 8 seconds, you hang on for dear life... and once you hear that bell ring. Scream and shout girl... Praise the One Elohim above... You made it!




 I'm like every one of you.......



Trying to find my way... 


I have dreams and aspirations... But right now at this moment. I am so thankful for what I do have... I don't have to live out my dreams alone. I Have a wonderful Father in Heaven Elohim, and a Family who loves me...
I am already blessed so much!


Now let me, let you into my world for a moment... I live in a metaphorical... crazy... yet very peaceful whirlwind. I love it! I wouldn't have it any other way. 


My Dad and I are so much alike its sometimes scary. My Mom says that I am the most logical female you will ever come across... My Dad thinks its funny when she says that, until I use my logic on him. Fair play tho, I get my logic from him... My Mom, is the perfect woman... sweet, kind, caring, gentle and oh... so loving. I admire her strength the most tho... She's been places in this life, that I can't think or imagine any other woman being. She's faced the bull and told it to bite the dust, even when she knew that another one would take its place. She's my kind of woman!  Me, you'll find out soon enough... I don't like change... So don't even think about changing me. My brother is my best friend. You get on his bad side, your on mine. Likewise in reverse with me and him... Don't get on my bad side.
The rest of the Fam... I love them all!




People say that I'm a little bit wild and whole lot of crazy... My grandmothers old tune is you should a be Lady... What is a Lady tho? Sipping tea and marrying a guy who has hands soft as a baby's.... Paper pusher... City slicker... Doesn't know the first thing about really living. Hell No! I am a very outgoing and honest person, I don't hide behind any facades. This is me! If you don't like it, hit the road like that old song goes. I won't lie to you, I won't talk behind your back. I got something to say, I'll say it to your face. Now that's a Lady! You don't have to drink tea and marry a Richard to be one. No, Always know the truth and conduct yourself with respect and know who you are... Whether it be, someone like me who loves F350's, Winchesters, horses, country music and everything else that comes with it... Or someone who loves holding babies, making cookies, wearing dresses with flowers in her hair... That's not only a Lady, that's a true woman who knows who she is. Forget the rules of a tea sipping Lady... Some rules were just meant to be broken!

   I'm just like my Dad, a little bit on the wild side... I take risks, so people call me crazy... I don't take that as an insult tho... Quite the opposite, it just so happens to mean that I'm Free. Everybody wants to do something out of character, they're just afraid to take that leap. Me, I'm more afraid of missing out on that breathtaking moment, than not reaching for it... There are so many wonderful things that we don't even know that we miss out on... Because of fear. 


Elohim says follow Him and He will give you the desires of your heart and guide your feet... Wow! That's awesome to me... I love my Father in Heaven........ He doesn't want to hold me be back like some would... No, The Creator of everything wants to help me get there... When has there ever been so much Freedom in anything else... He's been there before the beginning of time... We've just been to blind and stubborn to see it... Now we're free!




To all the Cowgirls that are reading this... Trust the Father above... Remember who you are... Elohim meant for us to be free, like the summer wind on a mustangs back... Whenever you come to face the thing that you fear most... Give it all to Him and let Him guide you... You'll be breathtakingly free... 


                                                             Until next time,
                                                                      Taz